Dirty Jokes

Joke: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

Joke: Tyler and his wife Kallie go to Las Vegas. They get to their room and they find a card for a prostitute. Kallie cannot believe it and wants to see if the prostitute will really come. Tyler calls the number on the card and says "Can you come to Trump Hotel, room 1445?"

An hour later they hear a knock on the door and Kallie hides in the bathroom. A woman comes in and says "Hi. My name is Destiny."

Tyler asks her "How much do you charge?"

The prostitute replies "$500 per hour."

Tyler says "I was thinking more around $25" and the prostitute looks at him disguised and walks out.

Later Tyler and Kallie are at the bar getting drinks and Destiny walks up to Tyler and says "See, that's what $25 gets you!"

Joke: A psychologist sets up an experiment and decides to conduct it on a mathematician and an engineer. The psychologist places two chairs at two ends of a hallway and puts the mathematician in one of them and a beautiful naked woman in the other. The psychologist tells him, "Every ten minutes I'll move your chair halfway to the woman and you can't leave your chair."

The mathematician replies, "That's ridiculous, I'll never reach her!" He storms out of the room.

Next the psychologist sets up the same experiment only with the engineer. When he tells the engineer that he will move him halfway every ten minutes he gets a huge smile on his face and starts flirting with the girl. The psychologist asks him, "Don't you realize you'll never actually get to her?"

He replies, "Yeah, but I'll quickly get close enough for all practical purposes."

Joke: Why do all men think with their dicks?

Joke: Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog licking his balls. One of the men says, "Man, I wish I could do that!"

The other replies, "Haha, yeah... You might want to pet him first though."