Dirty Jokes

Joke: When my wife left I got extremely depressed. But then I bought a new TV, a dog, and a Ferrari. I've also had sex with a few women and spent a few thousand dollars at the bar.

She's going to be pissed when she gets home from work.

Joke: What's the difference between eating pussy and driving through fog?

Joke: A man comes home from his job at the pickle factory and tells his wife he was fired. She asks him what happened and he tells her "I got fired for putting my dick in the pickle slicer."

His wife replies "On no! Are you okay?"

The man says "Yeah I'm fine."

His wife replies "You're not hurt? Was the slicer turned on?"

The man says "Oh yeah, she loved it."

Joke: Why do abstinence parties always suck?

Joke: A man goes to a restaurant and asks how much a coffee will be. The waiter responds, "A penny."

The man, surprised, then asks how much it is for a steak. The waiter responds, "A nickel."

The man who is now confused asks to see the owner, but the waiter informs him, "He is upstairs with my wife."

The man asks him what he is doing up there with his wife and the waiter responds, "The same thing I'm doing down here with his business."