Dirty Jokes

Joke: A bald man goes to the doctor and asks him, "Doc, how can I get my hair back?"

The doctor hands him a jar of pussy juice and tells him to apply it to his head every day.

The man comes back a month later with a full head of hair. He asks, "How did you know that would work doctor?"

The doctor replies, "Have you ever seen a mustache this thick?"

Joke: Yo mama's such a hoe, she burns more rubber than a racecar driver.

Joke: A guy receives a text from his girlfriend, "Thespacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative?"

He replies, "What is ternative?"

Joke: Why can't some men date English teachers?

Joke: Anthony and Maria get married but they can't afford a honeymoon, so they end up going to Maria's parents house for their first night. The next morning Timmy, Maria's little brother, goes to the kitchen for breakfast and asks him mother, "Are Tony and Maria up yet?"

His mother replies, "No."

Timmy says, "Do you want to know what I think?"

His mother replies, "No! I don't want to know what you think. Go to school."

Timmy comes home for lunch and asks, "Are Tony and Maria up yet?"

His mother replies, "No."

Timmy says, "Do you want to know what I think?"

His mother replies, "No I do not, go back to school!"

Timmy comes home after school and asks his mother, "Are Tony and Maria up yet?"

His mother replies, "No."

Timmy says, "Do you want to know what I think?"

His mother replies, "Fine! What do you think?"

Timmy replies, "Last night Tony came into my room for some Vaseline, and I think I gave him super glue."