Dirty Jokes

Joke: Why isn't barbie ever pregnant?

Joke: A woman and her husband's friend are laying in bed just after having sex. Suddenly the phone rings. She answers the phone, "Okay... Okay honey... I'll see you then," she hangs up the phone and turns to her husband's friend, "He's not going to be home for a while, he's playing cards with you."

Joke: What happened when the wizard went into the gay bar?

Joke: A man a his wife are having dinner when a beautiful woman approaches their table and kissed the man on the cheek and walks away. His wife asks, "Who the hell was that?"

He replies, "My mistress..."

His wife shouts, "What? I want a divorce!"

He calmly replies, "Fine. But remember, you signed a prenup. If we get divorced that means no more vacations, no more shopping trips, no more credit cards, and no more beautiful house or car. But it's up to you."

She looks at him for a moment then notices one of their mutual friends entering with a beautiful lady, "Who's that with John?" she asks.

He tells her, "That's his mistress."

His wife smiles, "Ours is prettier."

Joke: What's the difference between three dicks and a joke?