Dirty Jokes

Joke: How is a woman like a grammar Nazi?

Joke: Tyler and Connor have a friend named Nico. They like everything about him except the fact that he is extremely optimistic and always sees the bright side of everything. So one day they decide to tell him a story that he cannot find the positive in.

Nico meets Tyler at his house and Nico asks where Connor is. Tyler tells him "You didn't hear? He found his girlfriend with another guy last night and killed them both then he killed himself."

Nico says "Thank God!"

Tyler looks at him and says "Are you serious?"

Nico says "Yeah, if that would have happened a few nights ago I would be dead."

Joke: Why are blowjobs from midgets the best?

Joke: A blonde goes into the gynecologist. When he asks her what the problem is she replies, "Something is extremely wrong. I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina!"

He takes a look and laughs, "Dear, those aren't stamps. Those are stickers from the bananas."

Joke: What is the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?