Dirty Jokes

Joke: Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with our electrician. Last week I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."

His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. This week I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."

Paddy says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. Yesterday I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

Joke: Two nuns are driving down the road one day and come to a fork and turn left. One nun tells the other, "I've never come this way before."

The other replies, "I know, it's great. It's the cobblestones."

Joke: Did you know that 9 out of 10 guys masturbate regularly?

Joke: If a blowjob makes your day, what does anal do?

Joke: A little boy is out in the yard with his grandpa. The boy finds a worm and tells his grandpa, "Hey grandpa! Bet ya five bucks I can get the worm back into its hole."

The grandpa, knowing it is too limp to go back in the hole agrees. The boy runs into the house and comes out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is stiff and puts it easily back into its hole and looks to his grandpa, "Pay up!"

His grandpa hands him five dollars and heads inside with the hairspray. Thirty minutes later he comes back out and he hands the boy another five dollars.

The boy replies, "Grandpa, you already gave me the money. Don't you remember?"

His grandpa replies, "Yeah I know, that's from grandma."