Funny Jokes

Joke: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

Joke: A man comes home to his blonde wife crying violently. When he asks her what's wrong she replies "I've been working on this puzzle all day, but I can't figure it out! It's supposed to be a tiger."

Her husband grabs her hand gently and replies "Honey, put away the box of frosted flakes."

Joke: John, Phil, and Tyler are driving down a highway and their car breaks down. It's a three hour walk to the gas station. They plan to carry their gas tank there and bring it back full. For the first hour John will tell a happy story, for the next hour Phil will tell a sad story, and for the last hour Tyler will tell a scary story.

After two hours of walking it is Tyler's turn and he says "Okay guys... I forgot the money."

Joke: What branch of government actually listens to the people?

Joke: A boy comes home from school ecstatic and tells his dad that gay marriage may soon be legal where they live.

His dad asks him, "Why are you so happy? You got a boyfriend?"

His son replies, "It's just the principle dad."

His father shrugs, "At least it's not the priest."