Good Jokes

Joke: A 17-year-old girl was mad at her dad because he always treated her like she was a little girl.

He gave her a gold star for standing up for herself.

Joke: A man gets on a plane and is seated next to a young kid. The kid won't stop talking during the flight so the man turns to him and says, "Lets talk."

The kid replies, "Okay, what do you want to talk about?"

The man replies, "How about string theory?"

The boy says, "That's a very interesting topic. But first, do you know why rabbits, horses, and cows poop all have different poop even though they all eat grass?"

The man replies, "I have no idea."

The boy smiles and says, "How do you expect to discuss string theory when you don't know shit."

Joke: Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

Joke: Bill Gates was out fishing when his pole started to jiggle. He reels in the fish and the fish asks him, "Please don't eat me, can't you throw me back?"

Bill replies, "Woah, a talking fish! I was going to throw you back anyways."

The fish swims away then turns back, "Now that you let me go, how about a wish?"

Mr. Gates replies, "Okay, what do you want?"

Joke: A man got his house painted. When the painters were done they handed him the bill. He was surprised to find that the painters were not charging him for paint, just labor. He asked them, "You did a great job, why didn't you charge me for paint?"

The painter replies, "Don't worry about the paint, it's on the house."