Good Jokes

Joke: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

Joke: Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Three bananas and orange!
Three bananas and orange who?
Three bananas and orange you glad we all knocked together.

Joke: One day a man walked into a sporting goods store looking to buy a rifle. The man had never been hunting before and asked the clerk if he could recommend a rifle. "Oh yes," the clerk said. "I'm not a very good shot but I've done quite a lot of hunting in my day, even did some big game hunting with my brother in law." To which the man responded "No way! Did you get anything?" "I sure did, we were in the African jungle when we suddenly stumbled upon a monstrous crocodile. He was a mean one too. With scars all over his face this was surely one bad croc. My brother in law said he wanted to wrestle it and take a picture afterward. So he crept right up to it, until they were face to face, nose to nose, eye to eye, tooth to tooth. The giant croc stretched its massive jaws preparing to take a bite out of my brother in law. Naturally I couldn't let that happen so I raised my rifle and shot him, shot him right between the eyes." "Amazing" said the man. "Yeah and I had this fancy belt made after I got back to our camp." "Oh wow! So the belt is genuine crocodile skin?"

Joke: A man is going ice fishing. He drills a hole in the ice and hears a booming voice, "There's no fish in there!"

He begins to drill another hole and again hears the voice, "Stop drilling, there's no fish there!"

He drills a third hole and the voice sounds again, "You aren't going to find any fish there!"

The fisherman, frightened, asks, "Is this God?"

The booming voice yells back, "No! I'm the rink manager!"

Joke: Thomas has been feeling sick lately so he goes to his doctor. After he receives his check-up his doctor calls him in "Tom, I've got some bad for you..."

Tom quickly asks "What is it?!"

The doctor tells him "You have about twelve to live."

Thomas waits a moment and asks "Twelve what? Years? Months? Weeks?"

The doctor continues "Eight! Seven! Six!..."