Funny Jokes

Joke: What is the difference between O.J. Simpson and Simba from the 'Lion King'?

Joke: A man called his child's doctor and said: “My son snatched my pen and swallowed it. What do i do?”, and the doctor said: “Until i can get there use a different pen.”

Joke: The FBI, the CIA and the LAPD all think they are the most efficient law enforcers, so they decide to have a contest. They release a squirrel into a forest and they all get a chance to catch it.

The CIA bugs the entire forest and gets animal informants. They then question all of the plants and mineral witnesses. But after four months, they conclude that the rabbit never existed.

Next the FBI comes in. After a couple of weeks they still have no leads so they burn the entire forest down killing everything, supposedly including the rabbit.

Finally, the LAPD comes in and comes out a week later with a bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Joke: How many Freudian's does it take to change a light bulb?

Joke: An American, an Englishman, and a Mexican are in a hot air balloon. After being stranded for a few hours the Englishman drops a teabag out of the balloon and says, "We have too many of these in my country."

The Mexican than throws a borrito out of the balloon and says, "We have way too many of these in my country."

Then the American throws the Mexican out of the balloon. The Englishman asks him, "Why did you do that?!"

He replies, "He slept with my wife."