Dirty Jokes

Joke: Why is it hard to make it as a pornstar?

Joke: A man is about to go on a long trip so he decides to get his wife a treat from the sex shop. The owner shows him a 'magic dildo.' All you do is say 'magic dildo' then where you want it to go to work and it starts working (For example, 'magic dildo, my wife's vagina'). The man buys it and rushes home.

He is so excited he speeds home and gets stopped by a cop. He explains to the cop that he was speeding because of the magic dildo. The cop looks at him skeptically and says, "Magic dildo my ass!"

Joke: What's the difference between an erection and election?

Joke: A psychologist sets up an experiment and decides to conduct it on a mathematician and an engineer. The psychologist places two chairs at two ends of a hallway and puts the mathematician in one of them and a beautiful naked woman in the other. The psychologist tells him, "Every ten minutes I'll move your chair halfway to the woman and you can't leave your chair."

The mathematician replies, "That's ridiculous, I'll never reach her!" He storms out of the room.

Next the psychologist sets up the same experiment only with the engineer. When he tells the engineer that he will move him halfway every ten minutes he gets a huge smile on his face and starts flirting with the girl. The psychologist asks him, "Don't you realize you'll never actually get to her?"

He replies, "Yeah, but I'll quickly get close enough for all practical purposes."

Joke: Joe Bob goes to Billy Bob's barn to see what he's been up to. He sees Billy stripping for his John Deere tractor. He slowly removes his overalls and twerks on it. Joe bursts in and asks, "Billy! What are you doing?"

Billy exclaims, "Dang Joe! You scared the life out of me! Me and the wife went to counseling and the therapist says I need to do something sexy to a tractor."