Dirty Jokes

Joke: An old man from Italy goes to church to give a confessional. When the priest slides open the panel, the man tells him "Father, I feel terrible. During World War II a beautiful Jewish woman came to my house and I hid her in my attic."

The priest replies "That's wonderful, why would you confess that?"

The man says "After a while she began repaying me in sexual favors, several times a week."

The priest replies "You did a great thing. People in those sorts of situations can succumb to the pleasures of the flesh. But if you're sorry, then you are forgiven."

The man replies "Great! But father, there's one more thing."

The priest says "Yes my son?"

The man replies "Should I tell her the war is over?"

Joke: What's the difference between your penis and your paycheck?

Joke: How do we know the iPhone 6 Plus was made by a man?

Joke: (The maid has just asked for a raise)
Mrs. Smith: "Why do you think you deserve a raise?"
Maid: "I have three reasons. The first is that I cook better than you."
Mrs. Smith: "Who told you that?"
Maid: "Your husband did. The second reason is that I clean better than you do."
Mrs. Smith: "Who told you that?"
Maid: "Your husband did. The final reason is that I am better in bed than you are."
Mrs. Smith: "I suppose my husband said that too?!"
Maid: "No, the gardener."
Mrs. Smith: "How much do you want?"

Joke: Why do one story whorehouses make more money than two story whorehouses?