Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man is lying in bed with his new girlfriend after hours of lovemaking. She is playing with his balls. After a while he asks her, "Why are you playing with them?"

She replies, "Because I love them."

He asks, "But why?"

She replies, "I miss mine."

Joke: A guy goes to a whorehouse and when the prostitute sees his 20-inch penis she nearly faints. She tells him, "I'll touch it, lick it, and suck it; but I'm not putting it in me."

The guy walks over to the table and takes back his money saying, "No thanks, I can do all of that myself."

Joke: A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gives it to her.

Joke: Mother's day is for moms and father's day for dads, but what do single guys get?

Joke: A priest is walking down the street and as he walks by a prostitute she yells out, "$20 for a handjob!"

He keeps walking but later he asks a nun, "What is a handjob?"

She replies, "$20, same as on the streets."