Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man gets pulled over for drunk driving and is put into handcuffs. The female police officer that pulled him over tells him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you."

He stumbles and yells, "Tits!"

Joke: After twenty years of marriage a man and his wife go to the hotel they celebrated their first night of marriage in. The wife strips her clothes off and asks, "What did you think when you saw me naked for the first time?"

The husband replies, "I wanted to fuck you stupid and suck those titties dry."

She smiles and asks him, "What do you think now?"

He replies, "I think I did a pretty damn good job."

Joke: A man is getting a hotel room and he accidentally rubs his elbow against a woman's breasts. He tells her, "If your heart is a soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, come to room 434."

Joke: A man made an appointment at a sperm bank. But it was pointless because he never came.

Joke: Little Connor is at school and his teacher asks, "Do you know any words with multiple syllables?"

Connor raises his hand and says, "Mas-tur-bate."

The teacher frowns and says, "Well yes Connor. That's quite the mouthful."

Little Connor replies, "No, that's fal-lat-io."