Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man gets arrested in a nightclub for having drugs. He tells the officer "There not mine, I found them. I tried to get rid of them, but every time I flush them down the toilet they reappear in my pocket."

Obviously the officer doesn't believe him but the man tells him "I can prove it!"

So they go into the bathroom and the man flushes the drugs. The officer smiles and says "Now take the drugs out of your pocket smart ass."

The man smiles and says "What drugs?"

Joke: A woman wants to find a husband so she puts out an ad "I'm looking for a man that won't hit me, won't run away, and can satisfy me."

A week later she hears a very loud knock at the door. She answers it and it is a man with no arms or legs, he says "I won't beat you, I have no arms. I won't run away, I have no legs."

She replies "And how do you know you can satisfy me?"

He grins and says "Did you hear me knocking?"

Joke: What's the difference between three dicks and a joke?

Joke: What did the man say after having sex for an hour and 45 seconds?

Joke: A woman walks into a bar and sees a frog in a cage behind the counter. She asks the bartender, "What's with the frog?"

He replies, "He performs oral sex on women."

She has a few drinks and curiosity gets the best of her so she asks for the frog. The bartender takes the frog out and puts it down there. The frog does nothing for a minute so the bartender says, "Okay, watch closely, I'm only going to show you one more time."