Dirty Jokes

Joke: A cop is doing his regular patrol and sees a car parked in the lover's lane with the windows all steamy. He approaches the car and knocks on the window. "Can I help you officer?" the boy inside the car asks the officer.

The cop replies, "Uh, yeah. What are you guys doing out here so late?"

The boy replies, "I'm just reading a book. She's back there playing games on her phone, I think."

The cop asks him, "Son, have you been drinking?"

The boy replies, "No way, I'm only twenty."

The cop looks to the girl, "And how old is she?"

The guy checks him phone, "Sir, in ten minutes she will be eighteen."

Joke: Two nuns are taking a walk when they are attacked by vampires. One of the nuns yells "Sister Annie! Show them your cross!"

Sister Annie runs at the vampires and yells "Get the fuck out of here!"

Joke: A doctor specializing in circumcision retires after 30 years on the job. He kept all of the foreskins from all of the circumcisions he has ever performed. In remembrance of his career, he goes to a leathersmith and tells him to make something out of them.

A week later he presents the doctor with a wallet. The doctor asks him, "This is all you could make out of all of those foreskins?"

The leathersmith replies, "It's kinda cold in here. Stroke it a little and you'll have yourself a briefcase."

Joke: A man gets arrested in a nightclub for having drugs. He tells the officer "There not mine, I found them. I tried to get rid of them, but every time I flush them down the toilet they reappear in my pocket."

Obviously the officer doesn't believe him but the man tells him "I can prove it!"

So they go into the bathroom and the man flushes the drugs. The officer smiles and says "Now take the drugs out of your pocket smart ass."

The man smiles and says "What drugs?"

Joke: What do you call someone who has herpes, AIDS, and hepatitis C?