Dirty Jokes

Joke: An American, an Englishman, and a Mexican are in a hot air balloon. After being stranded for a few hours the Englishman drops a teabag out of the balloon and says, "We have too many of these in my country."

The Mexican than throws a borrito out of the balloon and says, "We have way too many of these in my country."

Then the American throws the Mexican out of the balloon. The Englishman asks him, "Why did you do that?!"

He replies, "He slept with my wife."

Joke: The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

Joke: One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?". His teacher replies "NO" Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me". "OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies. Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger". She again says "NO". "But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again. "Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher. Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON" Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".

Joke: A man turns forty so he goes to the doctor for his first rectal exam. A week later he comes in for another rectal exam and the doctor says "I guess you can never be too safe."

Two days later the man comes in requesting the same exam and the doctor says "Are you sure? I guess it's your money."

Suddenly the doctor feels a prick on his finger. He says "Here's your problem, you have a dozen roses in your rectum."

The man grins at him and says "Read the card. Read the card!"

Joke: Sometimes I think my family is racist. They caught me having sex with a black girl and none of the kids would talk to me. Then my wife told me to pack my bags and go.