Dirty Jokes

Joke: Why didn't the webcam girl show up to work?

Joke: I asked a Chinese girl for her phone number.

She replied, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"

I said, "Wow!"

But her friend ruined it and told me, "She means 666-3629."

Joke: What has six balls and rapes the poor?

Joke: A prostitute is at a man's house after accepting payment. The man is in the bathroom taking a shower when the woman realizes she is on her period. She already accepted payment and the man is attractive, so she decides to turn the lights off and leave early in the morning.

They have some wild drunkin' sex and the woman leaves early in the morning. When the guy wakes up he sees a pool of blood next to him in the bed. "I must have shot her," he thinks to himself. But when he checks his gun it hasn't been shot.

Then he thinks, "I must have stabbed her." But when he checks the knifes in the kitchen their is not blood.

At this point he goes to the bathroom and looks up at himself in the mirror, "Oh no! I ate her!"

Joke: A girl hears about her grandfather dying so she goes to visit her grandmother. When she gets to her grandma's house she asks her what had happened. Her grandma replies "We were making love on a Sunday morning and he had a heart attack."

The girl is shocked, "Grandma, at your age sex is probably never a good idea."

Her grandmother replies "Don't worry dear. Your grandfather and I figured out a safe way. Every Sunday we would make love to the sound of the church bells, they were the perfect rhythm. If it wasn't for the ice cream truck, he would still be alive."