Funny Jokes

Joke: Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.

The Lord's prayer: 66 words.

Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.

The 10 Commandments: 179 words.

The Gettysburg address: 286 words.

The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.

The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words.

Joke: A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. "There is a blind man to see you." she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I'm in the shower. Send him in."

The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: "That's nice and all, ma'am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?"

Joke: What did people say when they saw the first dry erase board?

Joke: Emma didn't get very much sleep last night so she kept falling asleep at Sunday school. While she was sleeping, her teacher decided to ask her a question, "Who created the universe?"

The boy sitting next to her, Joey, poked her with his pencil to help her our. She jumped up and yelled, "God!"

The teacher told her, "Good job!" and continued with the lesson.

Soon after the teacher asked Emma another question, "Who died for our sins?"

Again she is sleeping so Joey pokes her. She wakes up and yells, "Jesus Christ!"

The teacher praises her again and continues.

Not much time passes and the teacher asks Emma, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?"

Joey pokes her and she yells, "If you put that thing near me again, I'll snap it in half and shove it up your ass!"

Joke: A man is on a long flight and he starts shaking. A flight attendant notices he is disturbed and asks him if she can do anything to calm him down. He says yes so she brings him a drink.

An hour later he is shaking again but even worse. So she gets him another drink and brings it to him.

Another hour goes by and now he is crying. The flight attendant approaches him and the man yells "Why are you people doing this to me?"

The flight attendant replies "Sir calm down, why are you so afraid of flying?"

The man replies "Flying? I'm trying to get sober!"