Funny Jokes

Joke: A woman is pulled over and the officer asks her for her license. He looks at it and says "Ma'm, your license says you should be wearing glasses?"

The woman replies "I have contacts sir."

The officer gets mad and yells "I don't care who you know, you're getting a ticket!"

Joke: Doctor: "Nurse, how is that little girl who swallowed ten quarters last night doing?"
Nurse: "No change yet."

Joke: A man's wife comes up to him and tells him, "Take off my shirt." So he does.

She then tells him, "Take off my skirt and high heels." So he does.

Then she tells him, "Take off my bra and underwear." So he does.

Finally she tells him, "I better never find you wearing my clothes again."

Joke: Why do bankers eat alone?

Joke: A grocer puts up a sign above his turkeys, "$5 each or $20 for three."

All day long people approach him outraged by his incorrect math, "It should be $15 for three, I'll just buy them separately."

All day people come buy and just buy them separately for less after yelling at him.

After one of his employees watch this go on all day he asks him, "Are you going to fix the sign or what?"

The grocer replies, "What do I need to fix? Before I put up the sign nobody bought three turkeys."