Funny Jokes

Joke: A first grade teacher tells her class that she is American and asks them to raise their hands if they are American.

All of their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks, except one girl named Kristen. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not an American," the girl responds.

"Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little annoyed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.

"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason. What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

"Well," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."

Joke: A wife and her husband are at the dentist. The wife tells the dentist, "I don't have time for anesthesia, just hurry up and pull it."

The dentist replies, "You sure are a brave woman. Just show me which tooth it is and you'll be on your way."

The woman turns to her husband and says, "Open your mouth honey."

Joke: Why is pushing the envelope pointless?

Joke: The king asks his rack operator, "How are things going?"

The operator replies, "It's just one long knight after another."

Joke: What rock group has four men but no singer?