Funny Jokes

Joke: A blonde girl takes her goldfish to the vet and tells the vet "I think my goldfish is having seizures."

The vet looks into the bowl, "Looks fine to me."

The girl snaps back at him, "Hold on! Let me get him out of his bowl first!"

Joke: A 90-year-old man goes to the doctor for his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he is and he replies, "Great, I'm 90 years old, I have an 20 year old bride, and she's pregnant with my child."

The doctor looks at him for a second, "Let me tell you a story. A knew a man who loved to hunt. One day he went out and was in such a hurry he grabbed an umbrella instead of a gun. As soon as he got out there a bear jumped out of the woods at him. He grabbed his umbrella, pointed it at the bear, and squeezed the handle. You know what happened next?"

The old man, dumbfounded, replies, "No, what?"

"The bear dropped dead right there!"

The old man protests, "Someone else must have shot the bear!"

The doctor nods, "Exactly."

Joke: What did the man say when he walked into a bar?

Joke: A lady cop pulls over an old man and his wife. She asks the man for his license and registration. He asks his wife, "What did she say?"

His wife replies, "She asked for your license and registration dear." He hands the officer what she asked for.

The police woman then says, "Oh you're from New York? I used to have a lover from New York. But he was a terrible lover."

The man asks his wife, "What did she say?"

His wife replies, "She thinks she used to know you."

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
The polite interrupting cow.
The polite inter...
Excuse me! I'm sorry to interrupt, but moo!