Good Jokes

Joke: A woman goes to her lawyer and tells him, "I want to divorce my husband."

The lawyer says, "Do you have any grounds?"

She replies, "Yes, we have a few acres. But there's nothing valuable on it."

He says, "That's not what I meant, do you have a grudge?"

She replies, "Yes, that's where I park my car."

The lawyer becomes angry at this point, "Why do you want a divorce?!"

She replies, "We have trouble communicating."

Joke: Yo mama's so ugly, she made One Direction scatter.

Joke: A man goes door-to-door selling vacuums and knocks on his first door. A big unkempt woman answers the door but before she can say anything he slips past her into the house. He immediately throws dog poop on the floor. She yells at him, "What are you doing?!"

He tells her, "If this vacuum doesn't clean this up I'll eat whatever's left."

She smiles and replies, "I'll grab you a fork. I haven't paid the electric bill in months."

Joke: Why did the TV show about the airplane never make it past the first episode?

Joke: What's the difference between cooking and chemistry?