Good Jokes

Joke: Yo mama's so ugly, she made One Direction scatter.

Joke: A man goes door-to-door selling vacuums and knocks on his first door. A big unkempt woman answers the door but before she can say anything he slips past her into the house. He immediately throws dog poop on the floor. She yells at him, "What are you doing?!"

He tells her, "If this vacuum doesn't clean this up I'll eat whatever's left."

She smiles and replies, "I'll grab you a fork. I haven't paid the electric bill in months."

Joke: Why did the TV show about the airplane never make it past the first episode?

Joke: What's the difference between cooking and chemistry?

Joke: A man walks up to a janitor and asks him, "Don't you ever get tired of cleaning."

The man, taken back, says, "Excuse me sir. I'll let you know I have children at Harvard, Yale, and MIT."

The other man replies, "Oh really? I'm sorry, what classes are they taking?"

The janitor replies, "Nah, they're janitors."