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Joke: Why are aliens messy tea-drinkers?


Punch line: With flying saucers, it's hard not to spill.


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Joke: Why do farts stink?


Punch line: So that deaf people can enjoy them too!


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Joke: A man went to a brain store to get a brain to complete a study. He sees a sign indicating the profession of each type of brain. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

"How much does it cost for an engineer's brain?"

"Three dollars an ounce."

"How much does it cost for a programmer's brain?"

"Four dollars an ounce."

"How much for a lawyer's brain?"

"$1,000 an ounce."

"Why is a lawyer's brain so much more?"

"Do you know how many lawyers we had to use to get one ounce of brain?"


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Joke: Two men go on a fishing trip. They rent everything they need for the trip including the cabin.

The first day they go fishing they don't catch anything. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home one of them turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"


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Joke: There are three men in a truck driving in a desert. Their names are Manners, Poo, and Shut Up.

Poo falls out of the truck but nobody notices. They finally stop at a gas station and Manners goes back to look for Poo while Shut Up waits at the station.

A policeman approaches Shut Up and asks "What's your name?" He replies "Shut Up." The policeman asks again "What's your name?!" He replies "Shut Up!" Annoyed, the policeman asks "Where are your manners?"

He replies "Gone picking up Poo."


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