Good Jokes

Joke: A man walks into the bar and says, "Pour me a stiff one! Just got into another fight with the old lady."

The bartender asks him, "How'd it end this time?"

The man replies, "She came crawling back to me on her hands and knees."

The bartender is surprised, "Wow, that's a change. What'd she say?"

The man says, "She said, 'Come out from under there, you little bitch.'"

Joke: What does somebody who has dyslexia, insomnia, and schizophrenia think about?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doorbell repairman!
Doorbell repairman who?
Ding dong! My work here is done.

Joke: Math guy #1: It's ironic.
Math guy #2: What is?
Math guy #1: You can't spell tautology without spelling tautology.

Joke: A thief walks up to a man, pulls out a knife, and says "Give me all of your money."

The man, surprised, says "You can't rob me, I'm a congressman!"

The thief responds "In that case, give me my money!"