Funny Jokes

Joke: A woman says to her husband, "I'm sick of you pushing me around and talking behind my back!"

The husband replies, "But honey, your wheelchair!"

Joke: In the middle of a flight a man stands up, turns around, and yells, "Hijack!"

Everybody freaks out. Men begin to cower and women begin to weep. Suddenly a man in the back of the plane stands up and says, "Hi Ahmed! How are the kids?"

Joke: April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?

Joke: John approaches a sales lady at a store and says "I would like to buy my wife some nice gloves."

The sales lady responds "Well that's a nice surprise!"

"Yeah it is," John continues, "She's expecting a diamond ring!"

Joke: What do you call a cow that gets an abortion?