Funny Jokes

Joke: Mrs.Lane and Mr.Lane are driving in a car and they are only allowed to turn in one lane. What lane do they turn in?

Joke: A lady had a son, and she named him "Butt Itches". A few years later he had his first day of school. The teacher went around the room asking everyone to state their name...when it came round to "Butt Itches". The teacher asked "What is your name?" He replied "Butt Itches". At first she thought this was a joke so she decided asked again. "What Is your name?" He replied with the same answer, "...Butt Itches". The Teacher, who was now furious, asked once more and added, "If you don't tell me your name I'm going to spank you and send you to the principal." And again he replied with the same answer, "Butt Itches". The teacher spanked him and took him to the principal. Where he was asked three times what his name was, and all three times the reply was still, "Butt Itches". Then the principal also became furious and spanked Butt Itches, but the principal spanked Butt Itches too hard and he died. At the funeral his mom said, "Oh, my poor Butt Itches". And the preacher said "Well, scratch it."

Joke: 1. You can't wash yours eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breath through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried # 3. 6. When you did 3 you realized it was possible, but you looked like a dog when you did it. 7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 8. You skipped # 5. 9. You just checked to see if there was a 5. Add a comment if I got you!

Joke: A man called his child's doctor and said: “My son snatched my pen and swallowed it. What do i do?”, and the doctor said: “Until i can get there use a different pen.”

Joke: My friend thinks he’s smart. He says that onions were the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.