Dirty Jokes

Joke: What's another name for a female private investigator?

Joke: A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gives it to her.

Joke: Micky Mouse wants to get a divorce from Minnie but the judge tells him, "I cannot let you divorce your wife."

Micky replies, "Why not?"

The judge tells him, "Because you cannot prove your claim that she is crazy."

Outraged, Micky yells at the judge, "I didn't say she was crazy! I said she was fucking Goofy!"

Joke: A guy was sending dirty photos to his girlfriend, but he accidentally sent a photo of his bottom half to his grandma. She had bad sight so he didn't think much of it. Later that week she calls him and says "You're looking good, but I don't like your haircut. It makes your nose look too big."

Joke: A prostitute is at a man's house after accepting payment. The man is in the bathroom taking a shower when the woman realizes she is on her period. She already accepted payment and the man is attractive, so she decides to turn the lights off and leave early in the morning.

They have some wild drunkin' sex and the woman leaves early in the morning. When the guy wakes up he sees a pool of blood next to him in the bed. "I must have shot her," he thinks to himself. But when he checks his gun it hasn't been shot.

Then he thinks, "I must have stabbed her." But when he checks the knifes in the kitchen their is not blood.

At this point he goes to the bathroom and looks up at himself in the mirror, "Oh no! I ate her!"