Dirty Jokes

Joke: An American, an Englishman, and a Mexican are in a hot air balloon. After being stranded for a few hours the Englishman drops a teabag out of the balloon and says, "We have too many of these in my country."

The Mexican than throws a borrito out of the balloon and says, "We have way too many of these in my country."

Then the American throws the Mexican out of the balloon. The Englishman asks him, "Why did you do that?!"

He replies, "He slept with my wife."

Joke: What's the difference between an erection and election?

Joke: A man named Paddy goes to a toastmaster contest. He wins the best toast of the night with, "Here's to the last 20 years of me life, spend between me wife's legs."

When he gets home she asks him how it went and he tells her that he won. When she asks him about his toast he tells her, "I said, 'Here's to the last 20 years of me life, spend at the church and with my wife'."

She smiles and kisses him on the cheek.

A few days later she is at the grocery store and sees one of the other men at the competition. He tells her, "You're husband she did give a beautiful speech."

She replies, "He wasn't being completely honest. He's only been there twice since I've known him. He fell asleep one of the times and the other time I have to pull him by the ear to get him to come."

Joke: A man and his son are walking down the road and see two dogs humping in a lawn. The son asks his dad, "Why are they doing that?"

Thinking quickly, the father replies, "The dog on top hurt his paw so the other one is helping him walk."

The kid replies, "Figures... You try to help somebody and they just screw you."

Joke: What's the difference between a whore and a rooster?