Dirty Jokes

Joke: A king is going on a very long trip. He wants to keep his wife faithful so he has a chastity built made for her. This is a very special belt because inside there is a miniature guillotine that cuts off any man's member who tries to get through it.

When he returns from his trip he tells all of his men to pull down their pants and he discovers that all but one of them are missing their members. The one man that still has his member is Sir John.

The king says "Good sir, you are the only man who I can trust. If you want anything just say the word."

Sir John replies "UNG! UH! UNG!"

Joke: What's the best part of a blowjob?

Joke: Have you heard the one about the porn star's penis?

Joke: Three engineers are fighting over what kind of engineer God must be. The first one says, "God must be a mechanical engineer, look at the joints!"

The second engineer says, "No! God must be a electrical engineer, look at the nervous system."

The final engineer says, "It's obvious he is a civil engineer, who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through prime recreational area?"

Joke: What's another name for a female private investigator?