Dirty Jokes

Joke: Why did the man go to the psychiatrist covered in plastic wrap?

Joke: What do you call somebody born with no eyelids who has them reconstructed with foreskin?

Joke: A plane is about to crash. A woman stands up and yells, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Who's going to be man enough to do it?"

A large man stands up and rips his shirt off, "Here! Iron this!"

Joke: Joe and Emily are due to have a baby in a couple of months. Joe asks his wife, "Why haven't we had sex lately?"

"I'm scared its going to hurt the baby," Emily replies.

"People do it all of the time, I'll be gentile," Joe tells her.

Eventually Joe convinces Emily the baby will be fine so they have sex.

A couple of months later their baby is born. Immediately the baby asks the doctor, "Are you my father?"

"No, that's your father," the doctor replies pointing at Joe.

The baby looks at Joe and start to punch him in the face and says, "How do you like it?"

Joke: What does KFC and women have in common?