Dirty Jokes

 

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Joke: A man in his 20's goes to the bar with his friends. Immediately a lady in her mid-forties starts buying him drinks. Later on she invites him back to her house. He says no, but she offers him some mother daughter action if he comes home with her. He agrees.

Now very excited, they head to her place and go to her bedroom. They start to get into it so he begins to think the mother daughter action was a lie. When he asks about it the lady walks to the stairs and yells up, "Mom! This guy wants to meet you!"


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Joke: Young Billy walked in on his father one day in the bathroom. He asked his dad what was hanging between his legs. His father told him that is was a perfect penis. At school the next day Billy pulls down his pants.

"What is that?" asked Sally.

"Well," Billy said, ''if it was a few inches smaller it would be a perfect penis."


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Joke: A wealthy business man is trying to find his future wife. He finds three business savvy women and gives them each ten thousand dollars. They can do whatever they want with it, they just have to come back in six weeks to tell him what they did with it.

After six weeks the three women meet the business man. The business man says, 'What did you spend the money on, Number One?'

Number One says, 'I invested in bonds and made $1500.' The business man asks the second woman the same question. She says, 'I invested in stocks and made $1700.'

The business man asks Number Three the same question.

Number Three says, 'I invested in a CD that only made $1200.' After thinking for a long time, the business man finally came to a decision. Can you figure out which one he picked? The one with biggest tits, of course.


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Joke: What is the worst kind of stud?


Punch line: The one that's missing u!


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Joke: How is sex like a game of cards?


Punch line: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand!


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