Dirty Jokes

Joke: How do you know a homeless man has a girlfriend?

Joke: Last night I went to a bar and picked up a girl. We went to her place and things started to get hot and heavy. I bent her over the kitchen table and started going at it. But then we heard somebody at the front door, "Oh shit, it's my boyfriend. You have to use the backdoor, hurry."

I thought I should probably leave at this point, but it's not every day you get an offer like that.

Joke: John got his girlfriend pregnant. Ever since then he has changed drastically. He has a new address, phone number, and name.

Joke: A blonde and a brunette decide to rob a bank. When they show up at the bank they go over the instructions one last time. The brunette tells the blonde, "Remember, in and out in five minutes." With this the blonde runs into the bank.

The brunette waits and waits and waits in the van. Finally, the blonde bursts out of the door dragging a giant safe by a rope. The security guard chases her out of the bank with his pants around his ankles trying to grab his gun. The blonde ties the safe to the van, gets in the van, and they speed away.

As they drive away, dragging the safe, the brunette is furious. She yells at the blonde, "Dumb ass! You were supposed to tie up the guard and blow the safe!"

Joke: Have you heard about the deaf gynecologist?