Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man explains to his girlfriend that his pants were especially made for dancing. She asks him, "Ballroom?"

He replies, "Not much."

Joke: One morning a boy living on a farm was rudely awoken by his mother, "You don't get to eat breakfast until you finish all of your chores!"

One of his chores was to feed all of the animals. While he was feeding the animals he took his anger out on them. He kicked the pig, punted the chicken, and hit the cow.

When he was done with his chores he sat down for breakfast and his mom brought him a bowl of dry cereal. She told him, "You hit the cow so you don't get any milk. You punted the chicken so you don't get any eggs. You kicked the pig so you don't get any bacon."

Suddenly his father entered the kitchen and tripped over the cat. He got extremely angry and threw the cat out. The boy looked at his mom and said, "Do you want to tell him or should I?"

Joke: I was having sex with my girlfriend the other day and she kept yelling some other guy's name. Who the heck is Rape?

Joke: John is catching peanuts in his mouth while sitting on the couch next to his wife. John's daughter comes into the house with her date and a peanut gets stuck in John's ear. Her date offers to help him. Her date sticks his fingers into John's nose and tells him to blow. The peanut flies out of his ear. His daughter goes to the kitchen with her date and his wife asks "Do you think she likes him?"

John says "From the smell of his fingers she likes him a lot."

Joke: Four blondes are sitting outside on Christmas Eve. Santa flies by and cheers, "Ho, ho, ho!"

One of the blondes yells back, "Hey! What about me Santa?"