Dirty Jokes

Joke: Three men are captured and are going to be killed. The only way they can live is if they pass a trial. They must go into the jungle and find ten pieces of fruit.

The first man comes back quickly with ten apples. The leader of the men who captured them then says, "Now you must shove them up your ass without facial expression."

The man puts the first apple up there with no problem. But on the second apple he winces and is killed.

The next man comes back with some small berries. They tell him the same thing. Suddenly, while he is putting the tenth berry up there he bursts into laughter.

The first man and the second man meet in heaven. The first man asks, "You were so close, why did you laugh?"

He replies, "I saw the last guy returning with pineapples."

Joke: What sexual position leads to the ugliest children?

Joke: A guy asks his grandma, "Have you seen some pills around here? They are labeled LSD?"

His grandma replies, "Fuck your pills, there's a dragon in the kitchen!"

Joke: Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs?

Joke: A little boy is out in the yard with his grandpa. The boy finds a worm and tells his grandpa, "Hey grandpa! Bet ya five bucks I can get the worm back into its hole."

The grandpa, knowing it is too limp to go back in the hole agrees. The boy runs into the house and comes out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is stiff and puts it easily back into its hole and looks to his grandpa, "Pay up!"

His grandpa hands him five dollars and heads inside with the hairspray. Thirty minutes later he comes back out and he hands the boy another five dollars.

The boy replies, "Grandpa, you already gave me the money. Don't you remember?"

His grandpa replies, "Yeah I know, that's from grandma."