Dirty Jokes

Joke: A very religious woman has a parrot that prays. He sits at the bottom of his cage whispering prayers all day. She brags about her bird to everyone she meets.

One day she is bragging and a man says that he has a female parrot who is always swearing. They decide that it would be a good idea to put them together so the female parrot can learn from the praying male parrot.

So the man brings his female parrot over and they put her in the cage. The male parrot looks up at her from his prayer and says "Thank Jesus! My prayers have been answered!"

Joke: While Mrs. Jones is cooking dinner she sees that the cookie jar is open and that it is wet and sticky. She goes to her husband and asks him about it. He says he has no idea. Then she walks into her son little Billy's room. She is shocked to see him eating cookies with condoms on his hands.

"Why do you have condoms on your hands!?" she asked him.

He looks at her and says, "I heard daddy on the phone. He said when he uses them you never catch him!"

Joke: Two trees are next to each other in the forest, a birch and a beech. A sapling sprouts up between them but they don't know whose it is.

A woodpecker shows up and lands on the sapling. The trees ask him, "We can't tell whose sapling that is. Is it a son of a birch or son of a beech?"

The woodpecker says, "It's neither, but it is the best piece of ash I've ever put my pecker in."

Joke: A guy is getting busy with a call girl and he finds a piece of corn. He gags a little bit but gets over it and continues going down on her. But he later finds a chunk of carrot and says "I'm going to be sick."

The prostitute looks at him and says "Huh, that's what the last guy said!"

Joke: What happened to the orange who slept with the dirty lemon?