Dirty Jokes

Joke: When my wife left I got extremely depressed. But then I bought a new TV, a dog, and a Ferrari. I've also had sex with a few women and spent a few thousand dollars at the bar.

She's going to be pissed when she gets home from work.

Joke: A man is lying in bed with his new girlfriend after hours of lovemaking. She is playing with his balls. After a while he asks her, "Why are you playing with them?"

She replies, "Because I love them."

He asks, "But why?"

She replies, "I miss mine."

Joke: A girl hears about her grandfather dying so she goes to visit her grandmother. When she gets to her grandma's house she asks her what had happened. Her grandma replies "We were making love on a Sunday morning and he had a heart attack."

The girl is shocked, "Grandma, at your age sex is probably never a good idea."

Her grandmother replies "Don't worry dear. Your grandfather and I figured out a safe way. Every Sunday we would make love to the sound of the church bells, they were the perfect rhythm. If it wasn't for the ice cream truck, he would still be alive."

Joke: How are girls like square roots?

Joke: What's the best part about a gypsy on her period?