Joke #1420

Joke: Three men are captured and are going to be killed. The only way they can live is if they pass a trial. They must go into the jungle and find ten pieces of fruit.

The first man comes back quickly with ten apples. The leader of the men who captured them then says, "Now you must shove them up your ass without facial expression."

The man puts the first apple up there with no problem. But on the second apple he winces and is killed.

The next man comes back with some small berries. They tell him the same thing. Suddenly, while he is putting the tenth berry up there he bursts into laughter.

The first man and the second man meet in heaven. The first man asks, "You were so close, why did you laugh?"

He replies, "I saw the last guy returning with pineapples."

Joke: Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

Joke: Sally has been feeling harassed by one of her coworkers, John. She tells her employer that he has been harassing her and he asks her, "What does he do?"

She says, "He always tells me my hair smells nice."

Her boss replies, "That's not really sexual harassment."

Sally says, "He's three feet tall."

Joke: A man driving down the road slams on his breaks and honks the horn because there is a car stopped in the middle of the road. He storms out of his car and looks inside of the parked car to see a naked couple laying inside. He yells at them, "What are you doing in the middle of the road?! Why didn't you move when I honked?"

The naked man in the car yells back, "You were coming, I was coming, and she was coming. You were the only one with brakes!"

Joke: What's the best part about a gypsy on her period?

Joke: A little girl and boy are in a doctor's waiting room waiting for the doctor. The little girl starts to cry so the little boy asks her "What's wrong?"

The little girl responds "I have to get a blood test so they're going to cut open my finger."

The little boy's jaw drops and he says "Oh no! I'm getting a urine test."