Dirty Jokes

Joke: Emma didn't get very much sleep last night so she kept falling asleep at Sunday school. While she was sleeping, her teacher decided to ask her a question, "Who created the universe?"

The boy sitting next to her, Joey, poked her with his pencil to help her our. She jumped up and yelled, "God!"

The teacher told her, "Good job!" and continued with the lesson.

Soon after the teacher asked Emma another question, "Who died for our sins?"

Again she is sleeping so Joey pokes her. She wakes up and yells, "Jesus Christ!"

The teacher praises her again and continues.

Not much time passes and the teacher asks Emma, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?"

Joey pokes her and she yells, "If you put that thing near me again, I'll snap it in half and shove it up your ass!"

Joke: A man owns a very large farm. One night one of his employees tip him off that there are a bunch of women skinny dipping in his pond. He rushes to the pond with a bucket.

When he approaches the pond all of the young women go to the deep end. One of them yells at him, "We aren't getting out until you go away!"

He replies, "Oh I'm not here to see any of you naked, I just want to feed the alligator."

Joke: Why did the man take Viagra every night?

Joke: A prostitute is on the job for the first day. Trying to make friends, she asks the prostitute next to her, "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

The other woman replies, "Nope. But I was swung by my tits once!"

Joke: A penguin is driving down the road when his car stops running. He takes it in to the nearest mechanic and takes a walk while they look at it. While walking he grabs some ice cream, then he heads back to the mechanic. The mechanic tells him, "Looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin blushes, "No, that's just ice cream."