Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man in his 20's goes to the bar with his friends. Immediately a lady in her mid-forties starts buying him drinks. Later on she invites him back to her house. He says no, but she offers him some mother daughter action if he comes home with her. He agrees.

Now very excited, they head to her place and go to her bedroom. They start to get into it so he begins to think the mother daughter action was a lie. When he asks about it the lady walks to the stairs and yells up, "Mom! This guy wants to meet you!"

Joke: What do 98 percent of men do after an orgasm?

Joke: Why did the man have to get out of Mississippi as fast as he could?

Joke: A man's soon to be bride asks him, "What is a penis?"

He tells her, "You'll find out on our wedding night."

Their wedding night comes and he takes down his pants and tells her, "That my dear, is a penis."

His wife replies, "Oh! So it's like a cock, just smaller."

Joke: A bunch of nuns die in a freak accident. When they arrive to heaven they meet Saint Peter at the pearly gates. The first nun approaches him.

"Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" he asked.

The nun blushes and says "Well, once I touched one. But just with my finger tip."

Saint Peter says "Just dip your finger tips in the holy water and all will be forgiven." He asks the next nun the same question.

She replies giggling "Well, I gave a man a hand job once."

"Just dip your hands into the holy water and all will be forgiven," he says again.

Suddenly there is a lot of movement among the nuns. "What is going on?" Saint Peter asks.

One nun comes forward and says "If I'm going to have to gargle the holy water I'm doing it before Sister Mary dips her ass in it!"