Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man and woman get married and she quickly learns how controlling he is. Immediately he tells her "I'm going to tell you right now; I will get home whenever I want, I expect dinner to be ready everyday when I get home, and I will go drink with my friends whenever I want."

She looks at him and tells him "Okay, I'm going to tell you right now; there is going to be sex here every night at 7 O'clock whether you are here or not."

Joke: What has 200 teeth and keeps Godzilla at bay?

Joke: A man with a penis that was 25 inches long went to a witch to see if she could reduce its size. She told him "Go to the forest. There you will find a toad. Ask it to marry you."

So the man went into the forest and found the toad she spoke of. He asked the toad if it would marry him and the toad responded "No." Instantly his penis shrunk by 5 inches.

He asked again and the toad again responded "No!" His penis went down to 15 inches in size. He realized that whenever the toad said no to him, his penis would shrink 5 inches.

Figuring that 15 inches was still to big he decided to ask the toad one final time. The toad responded "Are you deaf? How many times do I have to say it? No! No! No!"

Joke: How does a wife know if her husband has a high sperm count?

Joke: What do you call a sad porno?