Joke #521

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Joke: A man with a penis that was 25 inches long went to a witch to see if she could reduce its size. She told him "Go to the forest. There you will find a toad. Ask it to marry you."

So the man went into the forest and found the toad she spoke of. He asked the toad if it would marry him and the toad responded "No." Instantly his penis shrunk by 5 inches.

He asked again and the toad again responded "No!" His penis went down to 15 inches in size. He realized that whenever the toad said no to him, his penis would shrink 5 inches.

Figuring that 15 inches was still to big he decided to ask the toad one final time. The toad responded "Are you deaf? How many times do I have to say it? No! No! No!"


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Joke: Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"


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Joke: Sally has been feeling harassed by one of her coworkers, John. She tells her employer that he has been harassing her and he asks her, "What does he do?"

She says, "He always tells me my hair smells nice."

Her boss replies, "That's not really sexual harassment."

Sally says, "He's three feet tall."


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Joke: A man driving down the road slams on his breaks and honks the horn because there is a car stopped in the middle of the road. He storms out of his car and looks inside of the parked car to see a naked couple laying inside. He yells at them, "What are you doing in the middle of the road?! Why didn't you move when I honked?"

The naked man in the car yells back, "You were coming, I was coming, and she was coming. You were the only one with brakes!"


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Joke: Three guys are hanging out at one of their houses when a terrible storm starts. It's so bad that they can't leave the house all night. So they decide to go to bed, the only problem is that there is only one large bed so they all have to share it.

When they wake up the next morning the guy who slept on the right says, "I had the best dream, a beautiful woman was giving me a handjob."

Next the guy who slept on the left side says, "That's weird, I had a dream where I was getting a handjob from a sexy lady."

The last guy, the one in the middle, frowns and says, "I had a dream I was skiing."


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Joke: What's the best part about a gypsy on her period?


Punch line: You get your palm red for free.


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