Dirty Jokes

Joke: What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Joke: What do you call a sad porno?

Joke: A woman walks into a bar and sees a frog in a cage behind the counter. She asks the bartender, "What's with the frog?"

He replies, "He performs oral sex on women."

She has a few drinks and curiosity gets the best of her so she asks for the frog. The bartender takes the frog out and puts it down there. The frog does nothing for a minute so the bartender says, "Okay, watch closely, I'm only going to show you one more time."

Joke: A man a his wife are having dinner when a beautiful woman approaches their table and kissed the man on the cheek and walks away. His wife asks, "Who the hell was that?"

He replies, "My mistress..."

His wife shouts, "What? I want a divorce!"

He calmly replies, "Fine. But remember, you signed a prenup. If we get divorced that means no more vacations, no more shopping trips, no more credit cards, and no more beautiful house or car. But it's up to you."

She looks at him for a moment then notices one of their mutual friends entering with a beautiful lady, "Who's that with John?" she asks.

He tells her, "That's his mistress."

His wife smiles, "Ours is prettier."

Joke: What's the difference between three dicks and a joke?