Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man goes to the doctor and tells him, "I don't feel good doc, I have a sharp pain in my ass."

The doctor tells him to turn around and drop his pants for a prostate exam. After beginning the prostate exam, the doctor almost immediately finds a $50 bill, "Did you know you had a $50 bill up there?"

The man replies, "No, I had no idea. But I do feel a little better."

The doctor continues the exam and finds another $50 bill. Then another. And another. After a few minutes he finds the last one and says, "Sir, why in the world did you have $1,950 in your ass?"

The man, feeling much better, replies, "I'm not sure. But I wasn't feeling too grand."

Joke: A 100-year-old man enters a Catholic confessional and admits "Father, last night I had sex with a couple of 18-year-old girls for hours."

The priest sternly replies "That is a sin, I'm going to give you a penance."

The old man laughs "That won't be necessary father, I'm Jewish."

The father, confused, asks "Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm telling everyone!"

Joke: A woman is packing up and about to leaver her husband. When he asks her where she plans on going she says, "I'm going to Las Vegas, I can get $100 a blowjob there."

He laughs and replies, "Good luck living on $300 a year."

Joke: The dove is the bird of peace and the hawk is the bird of war. What is the bird of true love?

Joke: Why is Santa's sack so full?