Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man and woman have been married for 30 years. One morning, while in bed, the husband tells his wife, "Honey, I can't get rid of this morning wood, could you help me out?"

The wife rolls over and takes off all of her clothes.

The man rolls back over and says, "Thanks dear."

Joke: How many Freudian's does it take to change a light bulb?

Joke: What can we learn from surprise morning blowjobs?

Joke: An American, an Englishman, and a Mexican are in a hot air balloon. After being stranded for a few hours the Englishman drops a teabag out of the balloon and says, "We have too many of these in my country."

The Mexican than throws a borrito out of the balloon and says, "We have way too many of these in my country."

Then the American throws the Mexican out of the balloon. The Englishman asks him, "Why did you do that?!"

He replies, "He slept with my wife."

Joke: One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?". His teacher replies "NO" Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me". "OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies. Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger". She again says "NO". "But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again. "Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher. Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON" Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".