Dirty Jokes

Joke: Trevor has a dance coming up and he wants to ask out Sally. He would do anything to go with her and he knows she doesn't have a date. The only problem is that whenever he sees her he gets an extremely large boner. Before he asks her, he practices not getting a boner but nothing works. So he decides to just call her so he doesn't risk a boner. So he calls her and stutters through the words, but she thinks it is cute so she accepts.

At this point he realizes he didn't find a solution to the problem he just put it off. But then he has a great idea! He ties his penis to his leg to conceal the boner. On the day of the dance he heads over to her house and knocks on the door. She answers the door and he kicks her in the face.

Joke: A man calls home, "Hi honey, is mommy there?"

"No daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle John."

"But you don't have an Uncle John... Go up there, knock on the door, and yell, 'Daddy's home!' Okay honey?"

"Okay," she sets down the phone and goes to her mother's door and yells what she was told. "Okay I did it."

"And what happened?"

"Mommy jumped out of bed naked, tripped, and now she's not moving. Uncle John jumped out of the window into the pool, and now he's not moving."

Very long pause

"Wait... Pool? Is this 555-5598?"

Joke: A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an asshole!

Joke: A blonde girl comes home from school one day and tells her mom "We were learning our numbers today and everyone else could only count to 5, I could count to 10. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

Her mom tells her "Great job honey!"

The girl asks her mom "Is it because I'm blonde?" Her mom tells her it is.

The next day the blonde girl comes home from school and tells her mom "We were learning our alphabets today and everyone else could only get to E, I got to J. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J!"

Her mom tells her "Great job honey!"

The girl asks her mom "Is it because I'm blonde?" Her mom tells her it is.

The blonde girl comes home from school the next day and tells her mom "Today we were in the showers after gym class and all of the other girls were flat chested, and I have these!" The girl lifts her shirt revealing very large breasts.

Her mom tells her "Um... Great job honey."

The girl asks her mom "Is it because I'm blonde?" Her mom replies "No dear, it's because you're 25."

Joke: A husband and wife decide to relive their first date on their 10th anniversary. They come to the fence that they first made love up against. The man looks at his wife "For old time's sake?" She nods and they begin to make love.

He pushes her up against the fence and says "You're even tighter than you were when we started to date!"

She replies "The fence wasn't electric 10 years ago!"