Dirty Jokes

Joke: A little girl and boy are in a doctor's waiting room waiting for the doctor. The little girl starts to cry so the little boy asks her "What's wrong?"

The little girl responds "I have to get a blood test so they're going to cut open my finger."

The little boy's jaw drops and he says "Oh no! I'm getting a urine test."

Joke: A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for a condom. The pharmacy asks him "Would you like me to put that on your bill?"

The duck says "What kind of duck do you think I am?"

Joke: A boy is going to have dinner with his girlfriend's family for the first time and he is also going to sleep with her that night. He goes to the pharmacy to get condoms for that night and he ends up talking to the pharmacist for twenty minutes about his plans for the night. Then he buys the large pack of condoms because he is going to be "busy that night."

Later that night he goes to his girlfriend's house and she greets him at the door. They go to the dinner table and sit down to eat. The boy sits quietly for a minute and asks if he can say grace. After he has been praying for 10 minutes his girlfriend leans over and says "I didn't know you were so religious."

The boy replies "I had no idea your dad was a pharmacist!"

Joke: Why does the blonde put perfume all over her ankles?

Joke: A very old man and a very old lady go to the doctor because they have decided that they want to have children. The doctor hands them a jar and says "Fill this jar up as much as you can and come back in a week."

A week later the couple comes back but the jar is closed and empty. The man explains "I tried using one hand but it cramped so I tried the other and that one cramped too. Then my wife tried but the same thing happened to her. Then we went outside and asked the first lady we could find to try and do it, by she couldn't either!"

The old woman adds "Doctor, could you open the jar for us?"