Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man's wife is standing in front of a mirror naked and says "Look at me. I'm fat, wrinkly, and old. Is there anything still good about me honey?"

Her husband responds "You have great eyesight!"

Joke: A man walks up to a large woman on a table and says "Damn! Nice legs."

She replies "You really think so?"

The man says "Hell yeah! Most tables would have broken by now. Must be oak."

Joke: What sexual position leads to the ugliest children?

Joke: A man has a girlfriend named Wendy so he gets her name tattooed on his penis. When his penis is erect it reads, "WENDY," but when it's flaccid it just reads, "WY."

While at a restaurant he goes to the bathroom next to a large Jamaican man. He looks over and notices "WY" on the mans penis. So he asks him, "You have a girlfriend named Wendy too?"

The man replies, "No man. It says, 'Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day'."

Joke: A guy walks into a bar and approaches another man at the counter and says, "I just fucked your mother. We did it in your bed and I came all over her. What do you think about that?" The other guy replies, "Dad, you're drunk."