Dirty Jokes

Joke: What does a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?

Joke: Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, "Hey, Dad! What are you doing?" His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank." Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The milkman filled her this morning."

Joke: A boy goes to school and he brings his cat. When his teacher asks him why he replies "I heard my dad tell my mom that as soon as I left he was going to eat the p**sy."

Joke: A pastor is standing before his congregation, "It has come to my attention that somebody has been telling lies about me. Somebody has been saying I am a member of the Ku Klux Klan. This is simply not true! Who has been telling this lie?"

Everybody is silent for a while. He speaks again, "Come on now, face your sins so you can be forgiven!"

Suddenly a drop dead gorgeous blonde rises and says, "I think somebody misunderstood me. I've been telling people that you are a wizard in the sheets."

Joke: A bunch of nuns die in a freak accident. When they arrive to heaven they meet Saint Peter at the pearly gates. The first nun approaches him.

"Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" he asked.

The nun blushes and says "Well, once I touched one. But just with my finger tip."

Saint Peter says "Just dip your finger tips in the holy water and all will be forgiven." He asks the next nun the same question.

She replies giggling "Well, I gave a man a hand job once."

"Just dip your hands into the holy water and all will be forgiven," he says again.

Suddenly there is a lot of movement among the nuns. "What is going on?" Saint Peter asks.

One nun comes forward and says "If I'm going to have to gargle the holy water I'm doing it before Sister Mary dips her ass in it!"