Funny Jokes

Joke: Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

Joke: A man is trying to find a spot to park at his favorite bar but it's to busy. After ten minutes of looking he looks up to the sky and says "God, if you get me a space I will pray every day and go to church every Sunday like I should."

Suddenly a great spot opens up right in front of him. He looks up again with excitement and says "Never mind, I found one."

Joke: A teacher was giving a lesson on blood circulation. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would rush into it, and I should turn red in the face."

"Yes, sir." the boys

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, my feet don't turn red from blood?"

Little Johnny shouted "It's because your feet aren't empty."

Joke: A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. After the game he asks her, "So what'd you think?"

She replies, "I like the tights and the muscles, but all of that commotion over 25 cents?"

He asks her what she means. She replies, "At the beginning they toss a quarter and one team gets it. Then they spend the rest of the game yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"

Joke: Why did the man egg push the woman egg?